After eight months of carefully executed rabbit-shuffling and sly introductions, I present to you best pals and newly-acquainted partners in crime: I know I talk about them a lot, but I may not have mentioned that they have never got on. Not one little bit. Chip’s always been very timid and anti-social, and I think [...]

In the words of Victor Meldrew, I can’t believe it! Rafa, I doubted from the beginning. Why on earth did I do that? Never again will I fail to believe. He always pulls it out the bag, doesn’t he? It was by no means a great final, neither man playing their best, but my argument [...]

(I didn’t make any of the macros featured here – full credit to the “creative” nutters on Facebook who found this as amusing as I did). JOHN TERRY’S AMAZING TORPEDO DEFENSIVE DIVE …I could go on. Seriously, I cried with laughter. I’m cutting out a picture of the original shot from the newspaper and sticking [...]

RAFAEL “NICE ASS-ETS” NADAL defeats ROGER “THE GOAT” FEDERER 6-4 7-6(5) to win the Madrid Master’s 1000 2010 So, Rafael, what have you achieved today? First player in history to win all three claycourt Master’s titles in the same season. Surpasses André Agassi as the player to win the most Master’s titles in their career [...]

I meant to write this sooner, but I’ve enjoyed a few blessed days away from the computer, and on the one occasion I did feel inspired to sit here, my neighbourhood suffered multiple powercuts. So yeah. Bottom-line is, the picture above shows you GQ Motherfucker Rafael Nadal holding his sixth successive Monte Carlo Master’s title [...]

I cut my fringe back in, because I was sick of the sight of my own forehead: Having another yawnerific “discussion” with Rob via Facebook concerning tennis. He seems bothered by my opinion that today’s Australian Open final was a disappointment. Last year’s was one of the best matches I’ve ever seen (it wasn’t as [...]

Dear Rafa’s knees, I must confess, your behaviour brings me much distress, This poor young man did all he could to battle past the horrid Muzz, and yet you hold him back again! Why can’t you be more of a friend? The boy did try his very best, but could not get past that leg-long [...]

I bought the same A7X shirt twice, one black with white print and the other white with black print (see above). I really need to learn some self control. Whenever I pluck up the courage to pick up the phone this week (I have serious phone-phobia) I will call my bank and request new details [...]

Rafa has a sponsorship deal with cookies, now. I love this man. He is so very, very strange and dishy. Here’s what he had to say about making it to the final in Doha: “I am playing well every day. It’s very important to start the season like this. Being in a final is a [...]

Making plans is so complicated. Why can’t they come ready made, in a box, just waiting to be unwrapped? Ergh. I need some sleep. Once this is posted, I’ll go. For the record, I am SO UNBELIEVABLY PROUD of Juan Martin Del Potro. He’s a Rafa clone and doesn’t particularly tickle my pickle, but I’m [...]