I’m seriously considering doing something crazy, and by crazy I mean saving up until Christmas is over, then quitting my job and spending my savings on travel. I want to fly to New York (and I am terrified of planes, as you must know by now, but I think I can do it if I want it bad enough) and go coast-to-coast on the sleeper train…end up in San Francisco, maybe go to LA, visit a few of the lovely people I’m met in the US via the internet. I want to make real plans, put thought into it, and DO IT.

What do you think? I can’t stick around doing nothing for much longer. In theory it would do wonders for my writing…I am just rotting away here. I want to do something mad and dangerous and FUN. Why else are we alive, if not to enjoy ourselves?

I have no idea how much money I would need to do this. Uncle Alan spent three months travelling across the USA a few years back, and I suppose he spent thousands. I wouldn’t have quite so many destinations on my list as he did, but I’d still want to see as much as I possibly could. Where to start my research…Seat61?

I wish I was in Paris right now, sitting beneath the Eiffel Tower with an ice cold can of coke…

…where would you be, if you could be anywhere at all?

433 spam comments?! You’re having a laugh! Good job I can delete them en masse and be on my merry way again.~

TODAY I PAINTED A FENCE PANEL. EVIDENCE:

Check that sexy brown panel there, who does he think he is?! And the shabby green one next door, letting the side down…but not for much longer. I also used this enamel paint thing I found in ze alcove to paint the stone across the bottom. I’m a bit of a softcore-libertine at heart so manual labour, as opposed to sitting on my ass swigging wine with pen in hand and a great sopping wet pain in my heart, is a big thing for me. The novelty of doing something useful wore off by the time I got to the end, though, so in order to put Jack to some use I’m offering him £5 for every fence panel he paints…there are fourteen in total. I’m either going to end up skint or he’ll do absolutely none of it, leaving me with over-developed arm muscles as a side effect of doing the whole damn thing myself. Either way, joke’s on me!

Chip says HEEEEYYYYYYY.

I’ve sold a few copies of Fight the Sky this week, so I would like to say thank you to everyone that’s bought the book…I’m here for you to fling abuse at afterwards, once you’ve finished reading it and want your money back. SEE YA, SUCKERS~!

Great news for fans of a good night’s sleep, whoever you may be! My neanderthal neighbours have moved out – last night was the first uninterrupted run of seven hours sleep I have enjoyed in a very, VERY long time. The house is empty at the moment, although I’m dreading whoever arrives next…so far we’ve just had loutish benefit-thieving family after loutish benefit-thieving family. Considering the town we live in, this is a reasonably nice estate – why can’t the landlord rent the damn thing to HUMAN BEINGS? If I’d got there in time I could’ve rented it myself and saved the day. Oh well. Maybe next time.

There’s nothing exciting for me to write about. Is there ever? I’m using the days I have late shifts to get some writing done at Starbucks in the morning…only a page or so at a time, but that’s better than nothing at all. Doors is coming along slowly but I don’t want to push it any harder. I’ve been working on it for just over a month, and I have 28 typed A4 pages, which is nice. I have a good feeling about it. I’m just going to write without reason until I reach a natural end, then get a few opinions on the first draft, and after a week or so of pretending it doesn’t exist, I will read over it and start the dreaded re-draft.

Of course, by the time that day comes I will have already won the lottery and blah blah blah the end. We did manage to win £5 on Euromillions the other day, which is a small but sweet victory. Somebody tell that jackpot I’m comin’ for it.

Money shouldn’t make you happy, but it does. It is all that lies between working until your face falls off and a ferry ride to freedom.

Want to see a few of the things I got for my birthday, on the 15th?

I think my typewriter and I are going to be the best of friends. I’m not brilliant at it, but we’re getting there. Lisa also got me this gorgeous pocket watch from Fallen Saint’s new shop in town:

I love it.

The day itself was fine; I went into Wolves with mother and bought myself a bag from New Look. I probably got comics and manga at some point, too; it all blurs into one after a while. On the evening I went out with Nat, Naomi and Lisa (later joined by Mr Skywalker) - they didn’t play Britney or MJ at Babylon, which was annoying, because we requested it a lot. BACKSTREET’S BACK was played, though, so there were an epic few minutes. We went to Planet afterwards but I wasn’t anywhere near drunk enough, despite drinking a fair amount, so it wasn’t much fun. Ah well! There’s always next year to disappoint…

So, the big ol’ 22. I’m over the shock of being in my 20′s now. I’ve got to enjoy it before I hit 25 and find myself trailing the black dog that is 30…I wonder how life will be, on that day. I suppose I won’t be living like I am now – cramming money into a savings account, wandering around Wolverhampton buying things I’ll never need…hmm. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

You’ll be pleased to hear that I AM STILL GOING TO THE GYM! *confetti* Although I do feel that I need to go more often, maybe even after/before work once or twice a week, but I’m really very bad at time management so I’d have to sit and think that one through. Still, once a week is better than nothing at all for now. I stood on the scales this morning and found Eight Stone Nine Pounds staring me back in the face (he was a nice enough chap). Slowly but surely…

Loving the new Avenged record. As if there was any doubt.

I think that’s all for now. I’m going to try to type up a few more pages of Doors before the night is done – before then, a brief foray into HTML is required for one of my neverending web projects. I should get paid for this.

The record’s out right now (#4 in iTunes! Wow!) and is out in the USA tomorrow…
I’m listening to it right now. <3 Love.

Before I say anything else…what do you think?! I thought I’d change up the site a bit, try a new colour on for size. The header photograph is one I took whilst out and about in Hay-on-Wye yesterday, original is underneath this text somewhere…so yes! I hope you like it! Don’t try to resist the banner at the very top of the sidebar, by the way…that’ll take you to the promotional webpage for Fight the Sky, which I’ve spent a few hours putting together…there you will find the video Marley Butler produced (which I narrated!) so please do go and take a look! I’ll also post the video in a separate blog, to get my point across. Nothing like hitting you over the head with the attention!Hammer.

Now, where were we?

Sounds like my kinda thing…

If you haven’t already been to Hay, I highly recommend you go. There are around 30 different bookshops, and whilst you might not find something you like in each one, browsing will certainly keep you busy. The shop pictured above, Booth’s Bookshop, is the original one and is absolutely gorgeous inside. I found a 201-year-old copy of A Winter’s Tale in there, and an 84-year-old edition of De Profundis by Oscar Wilde.

A couple of cats were wandering around in there, too. This one was very friendly.

Even though it rained all day (I didn’t take many photos because it made for a particularly miserable backdrop) I had a really great time, and I can’t wait to go back…with more money!

So yes, I highly recommend you go and see the town for yourself. It was a bit of a mission driving out there (cheers Google maps) but it was definitely worth it.

Right, I’ve got a bit of a headache from sitting here clacking away for hours. My first few attempts at the promo webpage went arse-over-tit because I was trying to code the whole thing using HTML tables in accordance with my “vision”, but as you can probably guess, I got horribly frustrated when I accepted it wasn’t going to work. I cranked up Ye Olde PSP8e instead and turned the majority of it into .pngs. I think it looks good, though? What do you think? Full credit to NKM Photography for the mugshots – silhouette of the birds is, of course, all my own.

Let’s leave it at that. My gym induction went well and I resolve to go at least once a week from now on…complaints and grumblings about that are sure to follow very soon. Tomorrow’s my birthday, let’s see how it goes.

Just a quick text update whilst I’m sitting here, seeing how another week or so has slipped me by before I could do anything about it.

Well, how’s life? Still pretty busy, it seems. Yesterday I journeyed to Marley‘s house in Derby to record some stuff for the Fight the Sky promo video. He’s going to mix it over the next couple of days, and I’ll post it here when it’s ready! So excited. We also recorded a few other things, mostly of me reading extracts over various strange bits of music he’d made previously – as I only had my current notebook with me, he inadvertently became the first person to hear bits of my current project (future bestseller, yo) “DOORS”. I think I’ll post bits of that here when it’s ready (read: when I’ve typed it up and made a vague attempt at drafting).

To the people who have bought my book this week: Random Lulu Customer, mum’s friend Nigel, Blane, driving instructor Jo and whoever required one via Bertrams, thank you! I hope you like it, or at least pretend to. And if you want to leave an Amazon review in your wake, that would be much appreciated…

When the video’s ready I’m going to pull together a placeholder webpage on here somewhere, which I can direct people to. Another thing to add to the relentless To-Do List, then.

I need an evening to myself like we got in the old days, so I can upload all the random rabbit-related nonsense off my BlackBerry, and maybe see what’s cluttering up my Nikon, too. I’m heading out today with mother to Hay-on-Wye, so I dare say there will be photographs from that venture, too, at some point. Until then I will bask in the glory that is Spain (okay, so they weren’t fantastic at the World Cup, but seeing how Holland were just out to cripple them, they did well to win) and await Rafa’s Facebook updates. I want hysterics in capital letters, young man. Nothin’ but the best, that man.

What are you reading at the moment? I’m half way through Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell which I’m really enjoying, although I find the abundance of footnotes a bit jarring at times. I think I’m supposed to hate Mr Norrell and love Mr Strange, but seeing how I’m exceedingly awkward at the best of times, it’s ended up the other way round. Oh dear.

I think that’s it? I’m tired, it’s 8am, I need to comb my hair. And life goes ever on and on.

In the words of Victor Meldrew, I can’t believe it! Rafa, I doubted from the beginning. Why on earth did I do that? Never again will I fail to believe. He always pulls it out the bag, doesn’t he? It was by no means a great final, neither man playing their best, but my argument is that Nadal never needed to – Berdych didn’t take his game to the levels he used to dispatch Federer, and various other opponents. Still, I’m happy for Tomas – his first slam final! And who would’ve picked him from that side of the draw, this time two weeks ago?! I certainly didn’t. He’s got a killer smile and a great game. I’m sure he’ll get a slam before long.

This, by the way, is Nadal’s second slam of the year (the second time he’s done the back-to-back French Open/Wimbledon wins) and his eighth of his career. He now joins the elites of the game, and he’s only 24. AMAZING.

In other news, life is extremely busy. The days are still blending. I’m finding driving very difficult, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’m insufferably stubborn, I would have given it up by now. The pay off doesn’t seem worth the stress. I don’t particularly want a car, and I wouldn’t have anywhere to drive it to, anyway. I just want to be able to say I can. I don’t enjoy being crap at things; so, no matter how much money I have to fork out for lessons, I will be able to drive one day.

I’ve got a great idea for a story, but the problem is finding the time to work on it…I’ve requested a typewriter for my birthday, so hopefully that will spur me on. I literally have no excuse then (right now I’m blaming it on the fact that I’m using the computer once or twice a week at the most, so I’m never able to write). I’m going to take my notebook on the train with me tomorrow, and instead of reading a couple of chapters of whichever book throughout the day, I’ll try to write a few paragraphs. Sounds fair.

I’m also considering signing up to the local gym. I find the thought of it terrifying, but I’m absolutely sick of myself and my negative self-attitude, so I might as well do something about it. The way I see it now, I’m well out of my teens and heading into the abyss that is the Real World – I’ve got to get over whatever is holding me back from being who I want to be. So, I can’t find the perfect job? I can’t afford a place of my own? I’m going to be rejected by Warwick? I can’t move to France which is what I so desperately, desperately want? I can’t write all day? Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Sinéad. Tell you what you can do, dearest. You can get off your arse and do some bleeding exercise, instead of moping around hating on yourself.

…the Sports Direct website is entirely unreasonable. I’ll have to look around Birmingham for gym clothes, tomorrow. Oh good.

Time for a shower, a cup of tea, a vague attempt at telling myself I haven’t frittered the day away as usual. I’ve actually achieved enough. I went to town and got bleach for my roots, had a coffee and doughnut for breakfast (WHOLE-HEARTEDLY RECOMMENDED), came home to find Sue had sold a copy of Fight the Sky on my behalf, fretted and then rejoiced over Wimbledon, got the community I moderate sorted, deleted WRAW and Overkill Hair, googled “how to survive the gym” and finally got around to writing in this little white box of mine. It doesn’t sound like a thrilling day, but it was worth it, right?

Oh, who am I kidding. I’m tired. Congratulations Rafa. The bed calls to me. Five-thirty tomorrow morning calls to me. Eat, sleep, wither, repeat – see you next week for more of the same.

(I didn’t make any of the macros featured here – full credit to the “creative” nutters on Facebook who found this as amusing as I did).

JOHN TERRY’S AMAZING TORPEDO DEFENSIVE DIVE

…I could go on. Seriously, I cried with laughter. I’m cutting out a picture of the original shot from the newspaper and sticking it on the wall – seeing how England’s campaign came to a miserable end, it’ll cheer me up somewhat! Now I can fully commit to Uruguay…DIEGO! DIEEE-EeeeEeEeEe-GOOO!

Rafa’s having a pretty slow Wimbledon so far, as well. I’m sure he’d rather be winning badly than losing in style. He got angrier than I’ve ever seen him in the last match, though, when the umpire started banging on about coaching. If Rafa was going to start doing that, why would he pick that moment? Sure, he was in a fifth set, but he wasn’t overwhelmed by the opponent. I didn’t at any point get worried that he wasn’t going to win, I thought that was obvious from the beginning. It just took him a while to get there.

Still, Wimbledon’s proving pretty epic this year. Isner vs. Mahut was mindnumbingly dull towards the end, but the score and sheer length of the match was awesome. Also, the doubles #1s are out! So perhaps a few new stars are on the rise…

I’m going to spend my evening reading The Passage, which has thus far been a very enjoyable distraction. I’m also going to write a few emails, catch up on things concerning the book, etc…and I’m going to stop expecting favours from people, because I clearly ain’t going to get any. Only one thing for it: stop dishing them out.

I dashed off to Paris for the weekend and had a fabulous time. The end.

….oh, you just wish that was how it’s gonna go down!

It’s the 10th of June 2010, quarter to four in the morning, and I’m sitting in the living room packing my Pierre Cardin suitcase for what is sure to be a memorable trip…oh yes folks, I went to Paris. Alone. On the 5am train, taking the underground to St. Pancras, seeking out the Eurostar. AMAZING. I was umming and ahhing over whether to go, and then my mum said something indescribably wise that really struck me (“these are the moments you work for”) and from then on, my mind was set.

I’ll share a few of my favourite photographs with you…

I arrived at the hotel around 1.30pm on Thursday…I was shattered, so I immediately flopped onto the bed and slept for two and a half hours. After waking, I got changed and took the Metro (genius in transport form) to the Eiffel Tower, and after enjoying an ice cold coke (original, ‘cos Diet is for bitches who don’t know any better) I walked alongside the Seine until the Louvre found me; I then caught the Metro and went back to the hotel to write. I didn’t take my camera out with me Thursday evening, so there aren’t any shots of le Tour Eiffel…but c’mon now, we’ve seen it a thousand times before.

On Friday morning I dressed, felt truly happy to be alive, and walked to the Seine…it took about 45 minutes, and the sun was radiant and brilliant, so I didn’t mind at all. I then walked alongside the river once again and ended up at the Ile de la Cité…and headed straight for Notre Dame. Words and pictures can’t do such a beautiful place justice, so promise me that you’ll see it for yourself one day. The bricks and gargoyles whisper of history, whilst the stained glass faces look on and on and on and on, anon.

I left Our Lady after an hour or so and made for the Metro once more…on the way I was accosted by an overly-enthusiastic Frenchman who couldn’t speak English to save his life…I’m rusty and struggled with my French…but we managed a conversation by ways of merging our mush of words into Frenglish, or as he called it, Franglais. After various confused compliments which are still out there somewhere, hopelessly lost in translation (“You have a face! Uh, I mean…theatre? You do theatre?”) he asked me out for drinks but I informed him that I have in fact seen the film Taken, and so won’t be going anywhere with strange men in Paris for the forseeable future. He didn’t understand. Bless.

I crossed the city and went to the Pere Lachaise Cimitiere to visit Oscar Wilde…as always, sir, it was an honour to meet you. I love that graveyard (what an odd thing to say). It’s very peaceful and easy to walk through…if you skirt the groups of bored school children and beleagured American tourists, it’s a nice way to spend a few hours.

The rest of the day was spent in Starbucks wandering through the Louvre, another incredible place that no pictures could properly capture. I did my best…

I love Paris. That’s where I want to be. I bought a postcard of Notre Dame and wrote “work for it” on the back. I will, I promise. If you want to see the rest of the photos from my Parisian adventure, click the big ol’ link below:

PARIS 2010: PHOTOLOG

I came back to England to find SOGGY SHITTY WEATHER that copies of Fight the Sky have appeared at Waterstone’s Birmingham New Street – exciting! Now to actually sell one…and die happy. Marley’s also been keeping informed about the promo video’s progression and oh lord, it’s gonna be good!

“This is the dream what we are living, after all.”

…did I really just quote my own poem? Fuck yeahhhhh.

Whoever, however, wherever you are, and whoever you might want to be: smile, and have a fantastic day. I’m sure you deserve it.